I heard a terrific academic presentation this week which made the point that conversation is a highly advanced technology, full of signals like facial expressions, pauses and responses, and pacing and tone of language. This is one reason I still listen to corporate executives on earnings calls instead of just reading the transcripts, and why it is so wonderful to hear the voices of our loved ones, no matter how frequently our texts shuttle back and forth.
Another point the scientists made is that conversation is anything but linear – as shown in the graphic depiction above, it zooms hither and yon and loops around whatever the central subject is – and not due to inefficiency. The twists and turns are sometimes the most important part of the discussion.
Dear ones, in our busy world,
full of checklists and straight lines,
let’s leave some space
for the wandering
that brings us together.
This quote is from JRR Tolkien in Lord of the Rings, “The Riddle of Strider,” a poem left by Gandalf to help Frodo.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
The graphic and research referenced above are from Dr. Thalia Wheatley, SFI & Dartmouth.